The F2F Bible (Update: 20 Aug, Genesis 7/8)

[Equium]

This is something I'm working on because I find it quite challenging. First of all, a disclaimer:

This piece of writing is not an attack or an insult on the Christian faith, nor does it symbolise favour for another following. If you wish to complain, send your complaints to me in person via PM and do not argue within this topic. Though I am not religious myself, I do not hold wrath for those who choose it, nor do I oppose your followings and teachings.

(I just hope this post doesn't make me unpopular.)

Like I say, this is a real challenge and I'm keen to see what you think. I'll try and post up as much as I can, hopefully one every couple of days. I've got a lot of travelling to do in weeks to come so I've got plenty of writing time.

I present to you: THE F2F BIBLE: GENESIS 1.

In the beginning, Fox created the internet and the humans. The internet was without form and void, and humans were over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Fox was hovering over the face of the waters.

And Fox said, "Let there be fur," and there was fur. And Fox saw that the fur was good. And Fox separated the fur from the humans. Fox called the fur Users, and the humans he called people. And then there was the first day.

And Fox said, "Let there be an expanse in the minds of the fur, and let it separate the furries from the people."And Fox made the expanse and separated the furries. And it was so. And Fox called the expanse the Forum. Then there was the second day.

And Fox said, "Let the games on the Forum be gathered together in one place, let the discussions appear." And it was so. Fox called the discussions topics, and the images gathered together he called the Gallery. And Fox saw that it was good.

And Fox said, "Let the forum sprout a calendar, games and FAQ bearing answers to all meaning." And it was so. The forum brought forth a calendar, games and an FAQ bearing answers to all meaning. And Fox saw that it was good. And then there was the third day.

And Fox said, "Let there be rulers of the forum to separate good from bad. And let them be guiding lights in the expanse." And it was so. And Fox made nine rulers. The greater rulers to rule the forum and the lesser rulers to to keep peace. He named the greater rulers Administrators and the lesser rulers Moderators. And Fox saw that it was good. And then there was the fourth day.

And Fox said, "Let the forums swarm with swarms of living creatures, each one as special as the last." So Fox created the great sea creatures and every creature that moves. And Fox saw that it was good. And Fox blessed them, saying "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the forum and the topics." And then there was the fifth day.

And Fox said "Let the forums bring forth living creatures according to their kinds - creeping things and beast of the earth." And it was so. And Fox made the beasts of the earth and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And Fox saw that it was good.

Then Fox said, "Let us make a fandom. In our image, after our likeness. And let it have dominion over the humans. So Fox created the fandom for the users. In the image of Fox he created them, male and female he created them. And Fox blessed them. And Fox said to them "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the forums. Behold, I have given you a calendar for your organisation. You shall have it for birthdays. And I have given you games for boredom. You shall have it to compete. And I have given you Administrators and Moderators. You shall have them for protection. And it was so. And Fox saw that everything he had made, and behold, it was very good. And then there was the sixth day.
---

[Fox L. Wolf]

Does this mean I'm god now?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyEo6olGiZY

[Equium]

No, you just have the same name as almighty Fox.

[Fox L. Wolf]

I am the messiah.

[Equium]

You're not the messiah, you're a very naughty boy!

[Fox L. Wolf]

No whips...

[KarazyKitty]

-Steals the Bible and scribbles a little in the beginning, putting it back carefully before calling Equium's attention to it- No, no. See here? It says fur white as the snow with markings of black scattered across his body. God was a snow leopard.

[Fox L. Wolf]

No no, thats just the 1890's version (black and white picture). I think the messiah was a Fox.

[KarazyKitty]

No, no, no. The messiah couldn't be a fox because he wasn't a slut. Everyone knows how you foxes are. :strong:

[Equium]

Lies, dammit! The almighty Fox was not a slut! Blasphemer!! :lol:

[Darkendwolf]

Ya'll are all wrong it was a wolf!!! or at least i hope XD. W8 what do I rly care lol.

[KarazyKitty]

No. The messiah is a snow leopard. That's how we have day and night. The almighty Cat is chasing his giant sun ball across the sky.

[Darkendwolf]

Hmm seems fair enough but the wolf .... eh forget it Go Cat messiah!! lol

BTW what is a messiah??? :twisted:

[Fox L. Wolf]

The messiah is Jesus pretty much. I think. I don't know alot about the bible.

[rat mage]

As the resident demonic force ,I must say vary interesting ,but is this creator really the fox ,or an expansion of a foxes ego, I offer you all this fruit of knowledge so you may be as fox ,even above him for who is he who creates ,and abandons the creation . *my chard rat paws hold a red apple as I laugh sinisterly *

[Fox L. Wolf]

Whatever *tosses up the apple and hits it with a tennis racket

[rat mage]

*shakes fist * "damn you I will have your souls .....no mater what ...........friken fox saving the mortals "*vanishes in a circle of fire *

[Fox L. Wolf]

*Does a victory dance
I love altering the biblical stories

[Equium]

GENESIS 2

Thus the forums were completed in all their vast array.

By the seventh day, Fox had finished the work he had been doing. So on the seventh day he rested. And Fox blessed the seventh day and made it holy.

Dael and Lia

This is the account of the forums when they were created. When Fox made the forums, no topic had appeared and no link had sprung up, there was no users for the Moderators to set upon. The Lord Fox formed the wolf from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the wolf became a living being.

Now Fox had planted a garden in the east, in de Rigueur, and there he put topics of art sharing and requests. And Fox made all kinds of topics and threads, pleasing to the eye and good for conversation. In the middle of the garden were the thread of life and thread of knowledge of good and evil.

A river watering the garden flowed from de Rigueur; from there it was seperated into four headwaters. The name of the first is Renard, it winds through the entire land of Fuzzilah, where there is gold. The name of the second river is Loup, it winds through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is Tigre, it runs along the east side of Assine. And the fourth river is the Zorra.

Fox said, "It is not good for the wolf to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Now the Fox had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the forum. He bought them to the wolf to see what he would name them, and whatever the wolf called each living cerature, that was its name. But for Dael, no suitable helper was found. So Fox caused the wolf to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took one of the wolf's ribs and closed up with fur. Then Fox made a Leopardess rom the rib and he brought her to the wolf.

The wolf said,
"This is now bone of my bones,
And fur of my fur.
She shall be called Leopardess."

For this reason a wolf will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one fur.

The wolf and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
---

[Fox L. Wolf]

Wow, you really seroius aren't you?
Good job.

[Equium]

Absolutely serious. I want to get as far as I can! :lol: The world's first furry bible? You read it here first!

[Fox L. Wolf]

"In the begging, the earth was without form, and void. The sun shone upon the sleeping earth. and deep inside the brittle crust, acid forces waited to be unleashed."
I am now a co contributer

[Equium]

That's not furry at all! Leave it to me. :lol:

[Fox L. Wolf]

ok make that statement furry

[Equium]

Your statement? I already have. Genesis 1:1. :lol:

[rat mage]

*watches from a tree with glowing red eyes * " I shall show you the fault of your folly .....Scribe .....you shall be mine .....I promice yous this Ishall torment yous with hells fires lackof punctuation and mispelled words may this miserable creation suffer *Evil laugh* "

[Fox L. Wolf]

Ok, what am I in the mighty furble (fur bible)

[Equium]

Haha, haven't worked that out yet. We'll work something out, I'm sure. Anyway, I'm finally off to bed. Adieu!

[Fox L. Wolf]

Haha, haven't worked that out yet. We'll work something out, I'm sure. Anyway, I'm finally off to bed. Adieu!
Do you live in europe? Its 735 pm here

[Equium]

England! Hoorah!

And it's 1:37am. And I keep getting distracted things on the interweb.

[Fox L. Wolf]

Pawing off and writing the bible at the same time eh?

[WildFox]

England! Hoorah!

And it's 1:37am. And I keep getting distracted things on the interweb.

Oh, another European, I'm not alone XD anyway, great job, I like this thread

[Darkendwolf]

Pawing off and writing the bible at the same time eh?


and what is wrong wit this. And you wonder why the bible is white sheesh..

[Silvermane]

Damn it Equium, I cant rep you again till I spread more rep around. STOP BEING SO AMAZING

[kcoar]

Not to worry Mr. Silvermane, I shall do the honnrs with my wonderful eight points of rep.

Eq, you da man. Make sure you put in something about kcoar's wrath. Hahaha. Kidding. I can imagine how irritating it must be to have people go "and whaddabout me? D:<" have fun with this my bro!

[Equium]

STOP BEING SO AMAZING

I just can't help it! :lol:

Well, kcoar... I'm trying to fit in as many furs as I can... some may just have to wait a while. :lol: Which reminds me...

GENESIS 3
The Fall Of Wolf

Now the Thoran was more crafty than any of the wild animals Fox had made. He said to the leopardess, "Did Fox really say, "You must not post in any thread in The Garden?"

The leopardess said to Thoran, "We may post anywhere in The Garden, but Fox did say "You must not post in the Sticky threads or you will die."

"You will not die", Thoran replied. "For Fox knows that when you post in a Sticky, your eyes will open, and you will be like Fox, knowing all and seeing all."

When the leopardess saw that posting was good and pleasing, and desirable for wisdom, she replied to the topmost thread. She also posed a question in the thread, to which her husband replied. Then the eyes of both of them were opened. They realised they were naked, so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Then Dael and his wife heard the sound of Fox as he was posting in The Garden. They hid from Fox in amongst the threads, but Fox called to the wolf, "Where are you?"

Wolf answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." And Fox said "Who told you that you were naked? Have you posted in the Sticky threads that I commanded you to avoid?" The wolf said, "The leopardess you put here with me - she asked me a question in the thread, and I replied."

Then Fox said to the leopardess, "What is this you have done?" The leopardess said, "Thoran deceived me, and I posted."

So Fox said to Thoran, "Because you have done this,
Cursed are you above members!
You shall never feel fur
Or see the light of day
For as long as you live!"

To the leopardess he said, "I will decrease your eventual rep points;
Coupled with the pain of server maintenance.
Your desire will be for your husband
And he will rule over you."

To Dael he said "Because you listened to your wife
And posted in the threads about I commanded you to avoid
Cursed is the forums because of you,
Through painful toil you will maintain it's beauty
For the rest of your days.
It will produce obscenities and mischief for you
And you will be there, fighting it until you die."

Dael named his wife Liavain. Fox made garments of skin for Dael and his wife and clothed them. Fox said "The wolf has now become like one of us, knowing and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand to the Announcements, and live forever." So Fox banished them from The Garden. After he drove the wolf out, he placed a flaming sword to guard the Announcement topics of life.

GENESIS 4
Dael lay with with his wife Liavain, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Twiste. She said "With the help of Fox I have brought forth a dragon. " Later she gave birth to his brother Wing.

Now Wing kept games, and Twiste worked the gallery. In the course of time Twiste offered pictures from the gallery as an offering to Fox. But Wing brought Tetris as a segment of his arcade. Fox looked with favour on Wing and his offering, but on Twiste and his offering he did not look with favour. Twiste was angry, and his face downcast.

Fox said to Twiste, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, you become a sinning dragon."

Now Twiste said to his brother Wing, "Let's go out to the gallery." While they were in the gallery, in awe at the colour, Twiste attacked his brother Wing and killed him.

Fox said to Twiste, "Where is your brother Wing?"
"I don't know," he replied. "I am not my brothers keeper."

Fox said "What have you done? Listen... your brother's blood cries to me from behind the images! Your brothers blood shall forever seep from the images, and you will never see the quality of colour again!"

Twiste said to Fox, "My punishment is more than I can bear! Today you are driving me from the gallery and I will be hidden from you."

Fox said unto Twiste, "Not so; if anyone kills Twiste, he shall suffer vengeance seven times over!" Fox put a mark on Twiste so he would not fall to death. Twiste left The Garden and lived in the land of Conde, north of the Garden.

Over many years, Twiste constructed a wife in Conde. They lay, she became pregnant and gave birth to Draconicon. Twiste was then building a city, and he named it after his cub Draconicon. To Draconicon was born Neohart, and Neohart was the father of Draco, and Draco was the father of Kenamaro, and Kenamaro was the father of Gryphon.

Gryphon married two women, one named Lithargia and one named Sedrina. Lithargia gave birth to dragonking. He was the father of those who live in caves and raise minions. His brother's name was Aurion. He was the father of all who performed on the instruments of torture. Sedrina also had a son, called Copper, who produced equipment to help post and create threads.

Gryphon said to his wives
"Lithargia and Sedrina, listen to me;
Wives of Gryphon, hear my words.
I have killed a dragon for wounding me,
A young dragon for injuring me.

If Twiste is avenged seven times,
then Gryphon seventy-seven times."

Dael lay with his wife again. She gave birth to Kitsuke, saying, "Fox has granted me another child in the place of Wing." Kitsuke also had a son, and named him Kingo. At that time, the furs began to call on the name of Fox.

(Genesis 4: Very, very difficult.)

[Fox L. Wolf]

Congrats, I didn't think you'd go past Genisis 3. I commend you. You should publish this.

[KarazyKitty]

This is gettin pretty epic. Can't wait til ya write up some more.

Oh, and can I call dibs on being the anti-fox? :twisted:

[rat mage]

As long as I can call being legion *rat looks at the young profit **chu a large pig demon walks in looks at rat *"as long as we can be legion ,dont for get my involvement in all your rps "*rat looks at chu* "but you dont count Im the main fursona " *chu shakes hove at rat* "but I make us legion " *rat looks at chu* "so do all the other fursonas I dont use " *Baphomet (a creature with the head of a male goat ,the upper body of a human female ,and the lower body of a male goat ) appears in a male /female over lapping voice says *"I think we would make a great legion if we could agree on things more often ,and If I were used in rps at all "

[Equium]

GENESIS 5

This is the written acount of Dael's line.

When Fox created Dael, he made him a furry. He created a wolf and a leopardess and he blessed them.

When Dael had lived 130 years, he had a song in his own likeness and he named him Tes. After Tes was born, Dael lives 800 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Dael lived 930 years, then he died.

When Tes had lived 105 years, he became the father of Taka. And after he became the father of Taka, Tes lives 807 years and had other sons and daughters. Tes lived 912 years.

When Taka had lived 90 years, he became father of Tobias. After Tobias was born, Taka lived 815 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Taka lived 905 years, then he died.

When Tobias had lived 70 years, he became father of Norirn. After Norirn was born, Tobias lived 840 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Tobias lived 910 years, then he died.

When Norirn had lived 162 years, he became father of Frosty. After Frosty was born, Norirn lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Norirn lived 962 years, then he died.

After Frosty was 500 years old, he became the father of Frisky, Diaho and Damostat.

---

GENESIS 6

When furs began to increase in number on the forums and daughters were born to them, the furs saw the daughters of furs wre beautiful and they mated with any of them as they chose. Fox said "My spirit will not contend with furs forever, for they are mortal."

Fox saw how great the fur's sarcasm on the forums had become, and that evil was in the thoughts. Fox was so grieved that he had made furs, his heart was filled with pain. Fox said "I will wipe the furries, whom I have created, and disable the forum." But Frosty found favour in the eyes of Fox.

This is the account of Frosty. Frosty was a righteous orca, blameless, and walked with Fox. Frosty had three sons: Frisky, Diaho and Damostat.

The forum was corrupt in Fox's sight and full of hyperbole. Fox saw how corrupt the forums had become, for all the users had corrupted. So Fox said to Frosty "I am going to put an end to all. I am surely going to destroy them. So make yourself a moderator, protect yourself, and create your own thread for all to live. The forums will be flooded and destroyed. You are to bring into the thread two of all living creatures to keep alive. Two of every bird, of every kind of animal and every animal that moves on the ground. You are to take every kind of food and store it away."

Frosty did everything just as Fox commanded.
---

[Mordekai]

Hey! When you manage to get to around to it, could I either be King Melchizedek, in Genesis 14, or Mordecai in the Book of Esther?

[The Sexy Whitney]

ROFL I'm soooo giving you what little rep I can give you for this thread. Lol...

[Equium]

GENESIS 7

Fox then said to Frosty, "Go into your thread. I have found you righteous on the forum, and have given you positive rep. Take two of each animal, a male and his mate. In seven days I will flood the forums with spam."

And Frosty did all that Fox commanded him.

The spam did come to the forum, and Frosty and his family and his animals fled to the protective thread. Two of each animal, as Fox had commanded. Frosty then locked the thread. Fox made the thread a Sticky. The spam rained onto the forum for forty days and forty nights.

As the spam increased, threads for medicine, pornography and illegal downloads floated around the forum, but the locked sticky thread remained atop the great flood. Every living thing on the forum perished. Every fur and animal. Only Frosty was left, and those in the ark.

The spam flooded the bandwidth for 150 days.

GENESIS 8

But Fox remembered Frosty and the animals with him, and his sons, Frisky, Diaho and Damostat. Fox deleted the spam and set up a fifteen-day registration scheme. By the end of another 239 days, the spam had been deleted.

Fox said to Frosty: "You may unlock the thread. Bring with you your family and everything within the thread." Frosty did, and brought everything with him.

Frosty created a poll to determine how great Fox was. Fox saw the poll results and said "Never again will I curse the ground of the forum and never again will I spam or encourage spam."

[KarazyKitty]

Been a bored kitty lately so...

-Wiggles a few fingers- Resurrection! -Magically brings the thread back to life-

[Equium]

Bloody hell, I'd forgotten about this. XD

[KarazyKitty]

It was pretty amusing, and a dang good job on it too.

[Equium]

Who knows, I might kick of Genesis 9 one day. XD I'll need to read through the whole thing and refamiliarise myself with whats going on. :lol:

[KarazyKitty]

Well just remember the messiah was a snow leopard. :grin:

[Equium]

There is only one true Fox. :lol:

[Fox L. Wolf]

Actually I was kinda hoping you would be at 2 Samuel 15-18 at least. I am doing a "literary" project on the bible for school and (the assigned book) is just confusing (all I have is King James, too poor to buy NIV, I need somthing I can relate to to understand this.