Fantasy [page1]

[Trinity_Nekosama]

Looking out the window, watching the sunrise of orange and red, the clouds pink, covering the sky, embracing the feeling that it gave me. Feeling tired and reckless from the long night of staying up. Thinking of such beauty the world has and feeling strong. My arms folded across my chest as i look down then back out the window, watching the sky become brighter as the the colors fade away, the sun peaking up from the horizon. I walk away from the window, sitting on my bed, my hands folded in my lap as I thought of the future that layed ahead. Hearing my name being called from her mother, from downstairs at 6am on a saturday morning. I change my clothes and brush my hair, headed toward the stairs seeing with her mother wanted. Walking downstairs and sitting in the living room, my feet on the table infront, and waiting. I smelled the warm fragance of bacon and eggs. My mother came into the room as i looked at her, her face was not the same, not the same firmilar face i knew yesterday. I asked her what was wrong and he refused to answer my question and walked away. I stared at the vintage carpet thinking "Was it me that did something or something else" I didnt know what to think. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of bread and grabbed my pack and left the house without a word to my mother. I never really liked her or my family.

My family was my friends Miles, Jade, and Cameron. They were my best friend i've ever had. Jade was going out with Cameron and Miles and I liked eachother but have never done anything about it. Well I walked to a bridge and looked down at the water beneath me then i decided to walk through the woods. I walk by the river thinking about Miles and I, the only punk in the whole town and i liked him. I never told Jade that i did, as i looked up through the leaves. I picked up my phone from my back and decided to call Jade and talk. It rang and rang but no answer, i was surprised because it's summer. I put my phone back in my bag and watched the ground so i didnt fall on the rocks and in the water. Then I find a big enough rock to sit on and think. I look at the sky through the trees, being amazed at the pretty green glow from the leaves. I think and think about Miles for hours, not knowing if I would be right for him.

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I decide that I was going to leave it alone till some other time. I get up off the rock and start head back to the bridge. When I got to the bridge, I stopped and looked down into the stream below and thought to myself, "why do I need someone to make me happy, I can make myself happy by doing what makes me happy...I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy." Then I looked up at the sky then i continued walking back to my house. After 30 minutes of walking I finally arrive at my house. I walk in the door and I see my mother sitting on the couch. I put my pack down and sat infront of her trying to determine what her facial expression meant earlier that day. I studied her face as my mother slowly looked at me asking her. "Mother, Whats wrong? I'm getting worried about you." All my mother did was stare at me then she sighed deeply "I'm dying" as her eyes swelled up with tears. My facial expression was shocking. I couldn't believe my mother was dying even though in my past we didn't get alone but deep inside me I loved her. She is my mother, she gave me the birth of life. How much more could I ask of my mother.

As I sat there, sitting on the living room floor thinking of how my mother was dying. I finally realizes how much my mother meant to me. Tears began to fall to my cheek to my chin and down to the floor. My mother was in the next room watching me as I sobbed at her horrible news, not knowning how to handle it. Finally I gathered up the strength to stop crying and stand up. holding onto the couch, feeling like I was going to fall as my knees felt weak. I carried my body to my room, falling onto my bed, knowning I needed to get this terrible new to be forgotten in my right mind. I curled up onto my bed, wanting it to not be true. Taht night, I tossed and turned all night, when I slept I dreamt of what my life would be like without my mother. I had bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep. I went downstairs and left the house. I finally called my best friend Jade and asked her if she could spend some time with me.

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An hour later we met at the park. Jade looked at me and started to worry because of how I looked. I looked back at her and told her that my mother was dying, she held me tightly like never before. We walked iunto the woods where no one out bother us and Jade rubbed my back then she started to sing softly in my ear "Whispers turn to shouting, Shouting turns to tear, and yours tears turn into laughter." I looked at her with a sad expressing saying "Your very right, but laughter will never come." Jade stopped rubbing my back and started going through her little backpack she always had with her, pulling something that looked like a pipe. I looked at her and asked what it was as she put this green flakey stuff that smelled really good. She told me quietly said "This is stuff thats illegal and it makes you feel like you have no problems," as she put the pipe up to her lips and lit it, blowing the good smelling smoke out. I watched her, tempted her ask if I could try it but all I did was open my mouth th closed it.

She looked at me and this thinking look on her face then words came out of her mouth, "Do you want to try it." I but my lip and thought for a minute as Jade spoke again, "You don't have you to if you don't want to, I wish not to be a bad influence." I looked at her again as the wind made the trees sway from side to side, speaking softly and unsurely "Sure..." I didn't know what was going through my mind as Jade handed me her pipe and lighter as I held it up to my lips and lit it, inhaling this great tasting smoke that entered into my mouth down into my lungs, then i blew out the smoke. I gave the pipe back to Jade and layed down on the rock, watching and listening to the trees. Jade looked down on me and I looks up at her, asking me "Are you high?," I didn't know what she meant so i just nodded. Then a few minutes later this strange sensation hit me, every single color of green came out to me and I got extremely hungry. I thought about what Jade said about how it makes you feel like nothing was wrong. Well she was absolutely right. Jade layed down next to me and we just layed there for hours on end like it was forever.

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While I was laying there I wanted to ask Jade about Miles but then I decided not to because of my mother. I looked at her and we both decided that we should go home and that we'd see eachother tonight. So I got up and we both left, I headed back to my house were my mother was still home and I opened the door. I stared at her and she stared back then asking "Why are you dying?" By the time I asked the "high" feeling felt me. My mother looked at me with the most saddest eyes I ever saw on her face. Then words came from her mouth "My heart isn't working much as it was." I looked down and I ran into my mothers arms as I held her and I whispered in her ear "I'm sorry mother, Soo Sorry." I let go of her with tear going down my cheeks as I looked into her eyes, seeing that the light in her eyes are fading away and I walked away and went upstairs. I sat on my bed, thinking it was my fault that my mother was dying. I held my hands in my head, feeling so deeply depressed that I looked at some scissors on my desk that I used for crafts I made. For years I told myself not to think about hurting myself but now it seems like I don'y even want to be alive, not feeling important.

I picked up the scissors and pulled up my sleeve, placing the blade on my skin, my mind racing, debating if I should do it. Becoming afriad yet wanting to feel alive, pressing the blade on her skin and cutting her forearm , watching the blood, flow from the cut. I look away as it burns, yet liking it, from the energy it gave me. I made a few more on my arm as yet the blood makes stream of blood down my arm. I put down the scissors on the desk and go into the bathroom to clean my arm, breathing softly, looking amazed at the cuts I made. After I clean my arm, I hide the cloth in my clothes drawer, knowing my mother will never know. I pull my sleeve back down to cover my arm and I walk back downstairs and leave the house without telling my mother. I look at my phone and scroll down in my address book in my phone, looking at Miles number, thinking about calling him for comfort on what I just did to myself. Walking away from the house towards Miles's house, debating in my mind, not knowing if I should call.

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I slowly press the call button till it says "Calling Miles" as i held the phone but to my ear, hearing it ring and ring. Then his voice on the ohter end "Hello" , I didn't know what to say. I stayed silent for a long time as I heard him keep saying "hello? Hello?," Then all i said was "I love you" then i hung up, hoping he doesn't call back as I was near his house. His house was in my sight, not to far up the road to the left. I kept looking at my phone, then all of a sudden my phone was ringing and it was...Miles....I picked up and said "Hello," he responded with "Umm did you just call me?" I studdered and said "m-m-maybe," I paused then I told him "Come down here! I'm out front of your house." We hung up and I waited for him across the street for him, opening the door as he looked out at me. As he walked toward me i wondered how I was gonna explain to my "I love you" comment that I said to him on the phone. He walked up to me, looking at my with his sky blue eyes that i got lost into and his soft slik tan skin. I hugged him and told him I was sorry, he looked at me and said "For what?" then I looked away. He made me look at him and he demanded me to tell him then i gave up, "I was the one who said I love you", I tried to look away but he held my head to his head. He looked at me and suddenly kissed me, as i just stood there and I felt weird.

Miles backed away and looked at me as I looked back at him, "w-why did you do that?", looking away, wishing for a bad answer. He responded back in a loving tone of voice, "Because I've secretly have loved you for along time." I look at him and slightly smiled then stopped, wanting to just disappear from my feelings for Miles, wishing I never fell for him, never loving anyone so much before. I stood there, infront of him, holing my arm that I cut, afraid to tell him. He never knew my mother was dying, thinking maybe he'd understand, looking down in saddness then looking back at him with my eyes starting to tear up. "What's wrong?", as he lifted up my chin to look at him, I closed my eyes and pulled up my sleeve to reveal what I had done about a hour ago, still freshly cut. He looked at my cuts and hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek, whispering "Why did you that?" as I whispered back in his ear I got weak in my knees and almost fell as he quickly picked me up. He decided to carry me into his house and lay me on the couch as his mom came into the living room adn asked "What happened!" as she almost paniced and looked at Miles. Miles stood up and went to his mom as I layed on the couch. He whispered in her ear and then looked at me and smiled ,saying "you'll be fine, if this boy takes care of you."

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I smiled weakly as I became sadder by the minute. Miles sat on the egde of the couch and wrapped a blanket around me as i snuggled in it. He kissed my forehead as I turned onto my side and my eyes began to tear up, trying to hide it from him but once he saw me. He knew something was terribly wrong as he looked at me and I buried my face into the pillow, my face red and upset, starting to choke on my air. Miles lifted me up with both his hands, still in the blanket, all the way upstairs, opening his bedroom door then closing it, slowly putting me on his king size bed. He held me tightly and waited till I calmed down till he asked "Hun, what happened?" as I spoke softly, I trembled, "C-call Jade and she'll tell you." Miles let go of me as I stopped crying and listened to him talking to Jade, while they we're talking, he was looking at me and mouthed with his lips "I love you," without a sound. I smiled widely and instantly felt better, when he was getting off he came over to me and layed down on the bed with me, wrapping his arms around me. Since I was emotionally exhausted, I fell asleep in his arms as he kissed my forehead, knowing that he now knows why I had been so upset but now he was here with me.

A day later went by as I began to wake up from my emotional drama from yesterday, the sun peaking through the shades of Miles bedroom, staring stright into my eyes as I got up and rubbed them. I looked around and notice Miles wasn't there. I jumped out of his bed and went downstairs, his mother was in kitchen as she turned around and saw me with a plate of bacon and eggs, which smelled outrageously wonderful. She smiled at me and spoke "Hey darlin, You hungry?" I smiles and responded "Oh yes I am and thank you," I began to dig into the food and about five minutes later I finished. I asked Miles's mother "Where's Miles?" she looked at me and said "I don't know but he should be back soon." Then a second later Miles walked in through the door, smiling when he saw me, hugging me from behind and kissed me on the cheek, "Hey sleepyhead! Have a good sleep?" I giggled and nodded, his mother was smiling then walked toward me and whispered in my ear, "He's always loved you, you know that?" I had a surprised look on my face when Miles looked at me, "What's wrong ?" I shook my head to come back to reality and said "Nothing."

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When I was ready to leave, Miles was walking toward me as I stood in the open doorway, waiting for what he wanted. He stood infront of me and hugged me, then he kissed me cheek. I looked into his eyes as he looked back into mine, he started to lean in and kissed me then pulled away, looking back into my eyes and I stared back and smiled, letting him lean back into me as we had a passionate kiss that seemed like forever. When we pulled away I laughed and smiled at him, "Well I guess I have to go." He grab my hands and held them, kissing my cheek again, whispering in my ear, "I love you and I'll call you later." Then there I was walking away from the boy I loved for the longest time, going back to my house. When I arrived I opened the door, seeing my mother on the couch again like she never went to work. She looked and me and I looked back at her without a sound, wondering whats wrong with her. My mother looked down at the ground and looked back at me saying "Your moving out."

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I stopped walking, dead in my tracks, as my brain was in complete shock. I stood in the living room for what seemed forever until she said "Well?" I shook my head and came back to reality, not knowning if she was kidding or being serious. My mom and I just stared at eachother as thoughts ran through my head, "Where am I gonna go... How will I live!" Opening my mouth to speak but nothing came out of my mouth. I turned away, took a step away from her, then just standing infront of her as she could see my back facing her. Breathing deeply with my eyes closed as I walked away without a single word.

I called Miles as I laid in my bed, wondering why I wasn't crying but in shock. Thinking that the tears will come later, waiting for Miles to pick up his phone. No answer. I left a message for him to call as soon as possibe. I layed in my bed for hours, wishing to just go to sleep and hope that this didnt really happen. Gradually I fell asleep then awoke by a pound noise on my door, it was my mother, screaming, "You need to get out of this house now! You understand me!" I was really angry at her now, more then ever as I opened the door and swung my fist into her face. Knocking her back and to the floor, just standing there looking at her and in shock that I've done something like that.

Closed the door and locked it, hearing my mother get up and leave. Sitting on my bed and had this strange feeling that my heart had turned cold. I looked at the phone and no call back from Miles. I wondered what was going on so i decided to call Jade, Jade didn't pick up the phone either. I thought "Maybe there just busy." Laying back down on the bed and fell back asleep, dreaming of Miles and me, walking through the woods on a fall day, colors of red, orange and yellow.

Once again, being awakened by pounding on the door, it wasn't my mom, it was Miles and Jade. I ran to open the door as they fell onto me with shocked faces. "What happened to your mom!?" Jade asked. Miles standing up and surprisingly wrapped his arms from behind me and held me. I felt really loved at that moment and didn't want it to end. Jade bugged my again as I tried to kiss Miles, "Well?" I looked at her, "I punched her and I'm getting the hell out of here now!"

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We all gathered my things, clothes, music, books, and anything else I needed. By the time my mother would wake up, I wouldn't be there. I honestly didn't care anymore. She couldn't careless of me at all if I was gone, maybe she'll realize how much I meant to her.

Miles called his mom and asked if I could live with them for awhile till I got on my feet and had my own place. Well she wanted to think about it all day. Jade called her parents and asked, also saying they would think about it. I didn't have anywhere else to go. What does a girl do when she up and leaves the house? We carried my stuff to Jade's house and sat on the porch. I said, "Man there's nothing we can do." Jade put her hand on my shoulder, looking at me in the eyes, "We will find something to do for you." Miles put his arm around my waist and kissed my cheek, turning my head toward him, smiling then kissing him on the lips.

Later on that day Mile's mother calls him back and says that I can stay for awhile but not sure for how long. I took the phone and told her, "Ma'am I'll do everything I can to get on my feet as quick as possible." His mother said "Thank you" due to money problems Mile's and his mother we're having. We hauled my stuff to Mile's house and met with his mom, standing on the front porch. I hugged her, thanking her greatfully as she smiled at me like she did before when Mile's and I became a couple.

I told Mile's and Jade, I wanted to be alone for awhile. So I headed to the forest where I always thought about things, about life. I found the rock I usually say on and stared up at the trees, watching them sway from side to side. The wind blowing through my hair and my eyes gleamed with colors. I just wondered how life can be simply yet so complicated. Being a teenage girl now kinda living on her own. A new world has been opened to me. I thought about what I'm going to have to do and help Mile's and his mother. I decided that I'd do get a job sometime tomorrow or the next day. This is definitly going to put alot of stress on my shoulders but you have to get through the hard stuff inorder for things to get easier.