"You and I" - a poem to my mate of 13 years

[Shasari]

"You and I"

You know my name.
You know the depths of my soul.
You touch the very essence of my spirit.

I know your name.
I feel your soul.
I feel the strength of your spirit.

I look into your eyes.
I feel the warmth there,
of all that is your world.
I lose myself in your eyes.

I watch you move;
your grace astounds me.
When I see you,
I feel as if the sun has just risen,
warming my body.

Your touch
is like a magnet,
pulling me toward you.
The fire that your touch has kindled
burns brightly in your presence,
and smolders in your absence.

When I am with you,
all is at peace in my world.
Your strength surrounds me
like a blanket.

I miss your touch
when we can not be together.
Now that I have met you,
it feels as if an intricate piece of a puzzle,
missing for years, is finally in place.

[Benevolent Pudding]

The line breaks after the "you"'s and ""I"'s make this poem sound very... jolted and awkward. It's nice, but perhaps if you fixed up the line breaks, it'd read a lot smoother. I liked the analogies and metaphors used.

[etetherin]

buetiful i wuv it

[Shasari]

The line breaks after the "you"'s and ""I"'s make this poem sound very... jolted and awkward. It's nice, but perhaps if you fixed up the line breaks, it'd read a lot smoother. I liked the analogies and metaphors used.

I agree now that I think about this again - and I will make the change, just been too lazy I guess to fix it - but I shall now - not the first time I've heard this comment :)

[Shasari]

buetiful i wuv it

Thank you - I posted it to a poetry forum a few years back, and had the greatest honor done by having someone ask me if he could read it to his bride to be on their wedding day, at the altar, just before the minister finished the ceremony.

[Benevolent Pudding]

Thank you - I posted it to a poetry forum a few years back, and had the greatest honor done by having someone ask me if he could read it to his bride to be on their wedding day, at the altar, just before the minister finished the ceremony.
Awww, that must've made you feel special.

[Sweet Pea the Malamute]

Hi Shasari, enjoyed your poem and am so happy you and you mate have been together that long. I met mf bf in college, just as a friend, had no idea he was even gay until four years after I knew him. Now, we’ve been together for 18 years.

It’s so sweet to see another person who has found something lasting, nice to see you here.

*wags*

SP

[Shasari]

Hi Shasari, enjoyed your poem and am so happy you and you mate have been together that long. I met mf bf in college, just as a friend, had no idea he was even gay until four years after I knew him. Now, we’ve been together for 18 years.

It’s so sweet to see another person who has found something lasting, nice to see you here.

*wags*

SP

Hello, and thank you :). I am happy also to see that you and your mate have been together for 18 years! Congrats!!